Four Door Aventador
by Acharya
Summary: That day on the wall, as Annie is trying to escape them, a new Titan appears, swiftly revealed to be shifter willing to work for humanity provided he get's what he wants. And what is it that he wants? Well Jean of course. Marco Bott has clearly come back to them...different. Wrong. Darker. Angrier. And then there's the thing with the leash. OR everyone sells Jean out for humanity
1. Bed of Lies

Four Door Aventador

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Prologue

Bed Of Lies

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_Do you ever think of me when you lie_

_lie down in your bed_

_your bed of lies_

_Jean. Jean._

_Annie. _

_Jean. _

He had a lot of time down there, in the box. A lot of that time was spent in pain, body blazing hot and dripping sweat. The never ending sizzle of steam made the box humid and the smell...well, in those rare moments when everything wasn't so painful he couldn't think straight he longed for the time before he'd grown enough of his body back to smell.

He couldn't keep time, of course, what with being locked up somewhere that he suspected was underground and drifting in and out of awareness, but he suspected it had been a long time. Too long. Much too long.

_She looked at him, nose wrinkling just a little bit. "I should kill him too, let people think he ran off or killed himself." She crouched, staring into his one fixed eye, face contemplative. "Or maybe I'll wait. He'll probably end up dead soon enough; grief can make people so sloppy. He might only need a little nudge." _

_She pushed a strand of glimmering blond hair behind her ear then scoffed, as if suddenly aware she was essentially talking to half a corpse. Except he wasn't a corpse, not exactly. He wouldn't have told her that though, not even if he could. _

"_You should have just agreed to join us." She said finally then reached out and touched his face. Everything went dark; she'd closed his eye. He couldn't open it, couldn't do anything except lie there and listen; he supposed he should be thankful for even that considering he'd had part of his brain bitten off. There was a creak and he could no longer detect light against the back of his eyelids. There was a soft noise, a sporadic pattering, then the low mumbling of voices. Then, finally, nothing at all. Just him, alone, paralyzed and unfeeling. _

He couldn't say how long after that it was that the pain started. First it'd been an itching accompanied by a strange whoosh-hiss noise and then white hot burning pain had taken over. It raced through the body he'd thought incapable of feeling much of anything anymore, taking him over and pulling him down until it was the one thing that existed. There was only pain.

Things became hazy after that, a strange mixture of white hot pain, empty endless darkness, and that scene, the last thing he'd ever seen, running a neverending loop in his mind. At some point he found he could open his eyes (eyes. Two). It did little good in the pitch black of wherever he was. Later on he could curl the fingers on both hands.

It became clear that his body was slowly, so slowly, repairing itself. This wasn't the first time; he'd had bumps, cuts, and the occasionally broken bone growing up and he'd always healed fast. Too fast, really, so fast that his parents would never risk a proper doctor.

He was, after all, a Titan. He'd never actually become a Titan but his parents (he wished he could picture them, older than all of his friend's parents, gray haired from the time he was a child, kindly and loving and not his actual parents, but his mind was too strange, too foreign, too hazy) had told him the facts early and taught him how to hide away in plain sight. It was the only way to stay safe and alive; if anyone knew the truth he'd be branded an enemy of humanity and killed.

Or so he'd always thought. Eren…

It mattered little in the long run.

He was a Titan. A Titan in a human body. A monster. That's why he'd survived being bitten and placed in this strange nearly airless box and why he was putting all the pieces back together again.

Soon he'd be ready to escape.

He would find her.

Soon.

And then he'd bite her head off.

He knew, somewhere deep down, that such thoughts weren't like him but it was the only other thought he could hold onto, the only thing that kept his thoughts from slipping away from him.

Without that he had nothing. And he knew, just knew like a person knew to breathe, that if he had nothing then whatever came next would destroy him.


	2. Everyone is Waiting

Four Door Aventador

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Chapter One

Everyone is Waiting

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_Will we burn _

_In heaven_

_Like we do_

_Down here_

_Will the change come_

_While we're waiting_

~Witness, Sarah McLachlan

Things had gone wrong. Very very wrong. First she'd failed to secure Eren and, as if that wasn't bad enough, she'd been found out. Probably by Armin; she found herself annoyed and yet there was a undeniable flare of pride. She doubted anyone else would have made the connection, would have identified her as a Titan shifter but Armin...he was something different. It was in his scent, in his eyes, in the way her mouth went just a little dry (as in both of her forms) when she was near him.

She hadn't expected to find someone like him among these humans.

Beyond that she couldn't help but respect how cautious and pragmatic he managed to be without being a coward. Others threw themselves into danger or hid behind the walls but Armin walked a very careful line.

In another time and place… In this time and place however he reeked of Eren Yeager and it made her hackles rise, just a little. Still she didn't dislike Eren, even if he was foolish and full of nonsensical childish sensibilities. If she had succeeded in taking him, could have explained...

She dug her fingers, hardened to make it easier to cling to the wall and climb. She was missing a limb, thanks to Eren, but she couldn't let that stop her. He may have been down for the moment but he wouldn't stay that way and beyond that Yeager was fast, too fast. They all had their strengths and beyond the obvious ability to harden her skin she was also much faster than her companions and yet Eren was just a touch faster. Also fueled by rage and the desire to kill.

The wall loomed above her, sunlight flickering down with the promise of survival if she could just make the climb. Her mind was racing.

Eren was intelligent in his Titan body, as far as Titans went, but he had a certain...feral quality to him. And as he'd tackled her in the open area she'd seen it there shining brightly in his glowing eyes. If he got his hands on her she would die. It was just that easy.

She'd crossed too many lines. She'd offended him personally not because of what she was, but because he viewed her actions as a betrayal of mankind.

She would have laughed had the situation not been so dire. A betrayal of mankind. She had a mission and she was willing to do what it took to achieve that. To do otherwise would be a betrayal of everything she'd ever known.

Worse she'd put Mikasa and Armin in harms way, had hurt the female Eren had taken as an adoptive wombmate; the bond there was perhaps closer than in those who shared blood. Eren wouldn't let that go; he was very much the Alpha in spite of not being of her people. He'd tear her to shreds for harming his pack. Even now his considerably injuries did nothing to slow him; but then he seemed made to take punishment.

It was actually unnerving how well he took a beating.

But she was almost there. She could drop her body and blend in or perhaps form a new one. It would be tiring but she knew how to push her limits. She had been trained for that, to endure pain and beat down the bone deep weariness that came with shifting. Whatever it took she would do.

A shadow fell over her and she squinted even as she pushed herself to keep moving. A cold feeling swam in her stomach as the figure above her, perched on the edge of the wall, became more than just a shadow to her.

A person, impossible to tell if male or female, head cocked to the side as they stared down at her, seemingly unconcerned.

She heard the family whoosh of the 3DMG and let herself shift her head just slightly to see Mikasa zipping up past her, blades at the ready, and just out of range. Not that she could risk swatting at Mikasa, not now.

The figure above moved forward, stepping off of the wall and she heard a cry of alarm from Mikasa, knew that now was her chance, while the threat was distracted by this foolish human life. A flash of silver against the sun and then a roar. Lightning flashed and arced towards them.

The other Titan hit her hard, it's weight concentrated on her left arm. Helpless to do anything as the impact shook her body and tore her arm, helpless as her fingers tore just below the tips she'd hardened. Claws dug into her arm and her body jerk, hanging by her right hand, as the other Titan hung fast to her, snarling like a rabid beast. Then she felt the sharp hook like appendages latch onto her shoulder and cried out, body swinging as the other Titan made to climb.

Before that could happen there was sharp pain (more pain) across her still intact hand and she jerked her head up just as she lost contact and started her free fall. Mikasa was above her, blade marred with her blood. The tiny woman landed feather soft on her forehead, looking almost serene.

"Annie. Fall." And with the Mikasa was gone and there was only the ground, Eren, and the snarling Titan on her arm left for her.

She was done. She was tired and falling and...done.

Mikasa watched, unsure what to think. Eren launched himself up, grabbing both Annie and the new Titan on their way to the ground. They hit with a thud and a tangle of limbs that eventually ended with the Female Titan flat on her stomach with Eren above her and the new Titan to the side, Eren's hand deep in the flesh of it's shoulder. There was a moment of eerie silence to follow then, with a snarl, the new Titan jumped back.

More than jumped, really, it launched itself back with seemingly no care for the chunk of flesh it left in Eren's hands, and executed a sharp twist that left it coming down in a crouched position. Then it stayed, crouched and face down, neck exposed.

She gripped her blades tighter, tempted to act but...there was a person in there. A person who'd helped bring Annie down. An ally? She was almost positive she could get Eren out of his Titan body without harm but this new person...who was to say? She didn't want the blood of someone who hadn't taken any action against them on her blades.

It only took a second. The new Titan jumped back and went still, Eren followed with his eyes and then full attention was back to Annie. Eren's eyes seemed to glow even brighter and his jaw opened, widening as if

"EREN!" She shouted, a queasy feeling settling inside of her. He was going to eat her. Evil murdering bitch or not, she couldn't let Eren eat anyone! That was too far, too much, something that couldn't be fixed or some back from. He'd never forgive himself.

He clamped down then wrenched his head back, tearing flesh and exposing the small and delicate body within.

Everyone stopped, a second drawn out hair thin, and all she could hear was the rushing of her own blood in her ears. She felt her lips moving, thought she may be calling out again, hoping she'd be understood, wanting to reach out to stop him but finding herself frozen in place, only able to stare.

A light, blazing white, rose up from Annie's body and Eren reared back. A blur of green and flashing steel and Eren's neck was open and there was Captain Levi, scowl firmly in place.

Mikasa breathed.

She was down off the wall in short order, helping to gather an exhausted looking Eren to his feet. He looked ready to simply pass out but she knew things weren't over yet and that they may need him, no matter how tired he might be.

Levi was striding across the open space, a recently landed Hange at his heels, hands clasped together and eyes wide in what could only be glee. Probably at the prospect of another Titan with no interest in humans and the possible experiments and dissections she could engage in. Mikasa shouldered Eren's weight and started after them.

In the distance, standing in ready formation on the edge of the clearly she could make out various other members of the Survey Corps, specifically Jean and Armin, on rooftops. They must have been told to stay put but ready to engage.

"You!" Levi stood dangerously close to the new Titan, no trace of fear in his small body. The Titan didn't move; Levi made an impatient noise. "I assume you can hear and understand me. We will give you the chance to come out of there without force. Otherwise we'll carve you out."

The Titan shifted just slightly. It's face, obscured by lanky black hair, turned just a touch to face the wall, as if considering it. Thinking of escape possibly.

Hange's hands went up, fluttering in what seemed like alarm. "We don't want to do that of course. We saw you help with the female Titan and you see we're already working with a shifter and I'd love to have another one to observe and compare! So many differences I can see already and with a closer look and understanding of your abilities I could learn so much!" The woman looked ready to burst.

The Titan huffed out a chuffing noise. It was...laughing Mikasa realized with a start. Eren went rigid next to her, halting just behind the two veterans. Levi's frown deepened but Hange squealed, looking delighted, before turning to look at them.

"He laughed! He's laughing! This is amazing." Back to the Titan. "Do you hear that? Amazing! If you come out I'd love to talk to you. Coffee perhaps? I know a fantastic cafe, assuming it wasn't flattened in all the commotion I mean and-"

"You aren't buying him coffee." Levi muttered, putting one of his hands over his face. "You are-"

"Why not? I have coffee with Eren." She poked a finger at the smaller man. Eren sighed and Mikasa could feel his exasperation. Instead of voicing that however he moved away from her, just enough to be standing on his own.

"Are you an ally?"

There was a pop and then a hissing noise as steam began to rise up from the Titan. The shifter slumped forward, like a puppet with it's strings cut, bringing it's head to the ground with a dull hollow thud. Mikasa let her hand fall to her blade hilt even as she darted back a few paces, at the ready. The other three stood firm, not so much as wobbling as the ground shook.

In the nape of the Titan's neck was a figure, though only it's back was visible amongst the red flesh. A hand shot out, a sickening sucking noise meeting her ears as it wrenched free. Then the other and finally a head.

Again time slowed. A shock of black hair, slick with who knew what, plastered to oddly pale skin. A smattering a freckles. A mouth curved into a tired but familiar smile. Honey brown eyes, laughter on their surface but something dark and slithering behind that.

Eren inhaled sharply. "Marco?"


	3. Loving You is Easy

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Chapter Two

Loving You is Easy

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_Loving you is easy_

_Loving you is wonderously pure_

_I shout it from the rooftops_

_How long must I wait_

_Til I see you smile_

_~Loving you is easy, Sarah McLachlan _

"Marco?" Eren's voice was strained, thin and strangely high, to his own ears. Or perhaps not that strange, considering. It wasn't every day that your dead friend climbs out of the neck of a Titan. Though…

His eyes darted over to where his Titan body was falling apart and sizzling away. Annie was encased in her crystal, being dragged out of her own Titan body by some other soldiers.

Maybe he should be less surprised by this.

Marco had finished extracting himself from the steaming body and dropped to the ground. He looked tired, but not as bad off as Eren was. For a moment the other shifter simply stared at him, mouth twitching out of it's smile into something sharper, darker, and Eren felt himself scowling in return. Something inside of him, that force that always lurked just beneath his thoughts, growled and images of blood danced through his mind. Titan. Marco was a Titan. He was to kill all-

"Eren." Mikasa was touching him arm, eyes wider than usual. He looked at her, suddenly aware that his teeth were bared and he was making a noise more suited for his other form. Hange was watching him, practically vibrating with energy, and Levi just looked...bored.

At least that was the same.

He coughed, embarrassment crushing the wave of bloodlust.

Marco watched him, smile completely falling away and leaving a carefully blank face. The man before him looked like Marco, all the right things in the right place, and yet it just felt wrong. It made the hair on his arm rise up.

"You know each other? And you knew the Female Titan?" Hange had fished a small notebook out of somewhere and was poised to take notes.

"We were in the 104th together." Eren supplied, though he wasn't entirely sure he should be indulging Hange. Once she got started...well. He might end up playing labrat by the end of the night.

The older woman nodded, face going contemplative. "That is...hmm. All three of you." She tapped her pencil against her mouth for a moment, eyes darting to the side to look at Levi. The smaller man nodded and, with a last warning look at Eren, turned to fully face Marco.

Mikasa's grip on him suddenly tightened but when he looked back at her she was staring off to the side. Eren followed her gaze, saw Erwin, Armin, Jean, and a few others walking their way.

"Jean." She meet his gaze, eyes sharp. Eren's eyebrow went up, confused for a moment and then he knew what she was trying to convey. After Marco had died (though he seemed to be not very dead now) Jean had been different. Even now, though his loud mouth was unchanged, there was no real life behind anything he did. He woke up, he trained, he fought when needed, he argued and fought...but there was none of the fire that had been there before.

It was depressing, even for Eren. There was no fun in bothering Jean if the other didn't care enough to really fight back.

Marco's eyes flickered beyond them, honeyed brown narrowing and then widening. Levi stirred, hand moving towards his blades; a subtle movement but Eren caught it.

"Annie said...she said she'd kill him." Marco's voice was faint and something tickled Eren's nose, a strange barely there smell that made the thing inside of him very unhappy. It whispered to him to get Mikasa and Armin away from Marco, to protect what was his from-

Things went more or less to hell from there. One moment Marco was in front of them, staring off into the distance, expression like someone had smacked him in the face and the next he was gone, moving at speeds that would rival Mikasa in the air, but on foot. He brushed past them, too close for Eren's comfort and he rocked back, pushing his sister behind him on instinct.

Levi was after him, blades drawn and a string of curses winding after him.

Hange's smile was stupidly large and she was scribbling furiously.

In the distance the members of the Survey Corps were moving in unison, the confusion at suddenly having a seemingly non hostile target charging them in an open flat area undetectable in their movements.

It mattered little in the end as Marco was moving at inhuman speeds. Blades lashed out and a few shots rang out and then he was in the back of the formation, one arm looped around Jean's neck, holding the other boy flush against him. Armin was close but looked to be at a lost, eyes so large they looked like the might roll out of his head.

Eren was tired, tired in every way, too tired to shift and he started to bring his mouth, ready.

The thing inside of him howled, demanding he not hesitate. Armin was too close, so close, he could be hurt. Mikasa was safe but he needed Armin to be with him as well.

He took off running, body aching.

Eren could see Jean's head swivel, the color drain from his face, and his mouth dropped open. A shadow passed over Marco's face, features twisting into an expression Eren didn't know and didn't like.

His teeth touched the skin on the back of his hand.

Marco's head dipped and for a moment Eren had the thought that he was going to rip out Jean's throat, then and there in that body, and images of Jean bleeding out splashed in his mind's eye. He wouldn't be fast enough, couldn't be there in time, he should have moved, should have changed, Jean was going to die because he was too slow.

As quickly as that thought entered his mind it was banished as he came to a bewildered halt. Marco wasn't killing Jean, or otherwise tearing chunks of flesh away.

He was kissing him.

Even Levi stopped short, head cocked just slightly to the side.

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Jean's life didn't make sense. He was coming to grips with that. He was a member of the Survey Corps, a division that basically did nothing but run suicide missions. He'd longed for the good life, the safe life, inside the walls with the Military Police but in one moment he'd let all that go.

The image of Marco, his best and only real friend, body mutilated and left propped up against the side of a building, in some strange parody of how they'd spent much of their off time in training. (_Marco sat, legs stretched out before him, laughing so hard tears formed in the corners of his eyes as Jean recounted his latest verbal sparring match with Yeager. He was never sure if Marco was laughing at him, Yaeger, or perhaps both of them. It didn't matter much, really, as long as Marco was laughing.) _It had been a punch in the gut and he had found himself unable to think or feel or act in the wake of it. He'd moved, gone through the motions for a time, but it hadn't meant a thing to him. He could barely recall anything after leaving Marco's body because of how hazy his mind was. He'd shut down

Marco was dead and that was just...impossible. Marco was too good to end up like that; it should have been any of them except Marco and yet that didn't change things. Others had mourned and Jean supposed he'd done some of that too but he wasn't sure. He joined the Survey Corps, part in hopes of making that impossible death mean something and part because some part of him thought it'd only be fair if he meet the same fate.

It hadn't happened yet. He didn't intend to go down without a fight because Marco wouldn't have approved of that, but part of him hoped. Hoped that every fight would be the end.

At least he wouldn't have to listen to Yaeger's incessant yammering about killing all Titans and saving humanity. Not that Jean didn't think those things noble goals...he just thought they were stupid as well.

He'd always put himself first. Hated danger but now, even within the inner walls, his life was all danger.

A new Titan shifter had appeared on the wall and helped tear the Female Titan down, which was useful. A figure had emerged from the beast, seemingly meaning no harm. Commander Erwin had indicated that they should leave the roof and follow him to see what was going on. Jean could see the wheels turning in the blond Veterans head; probably dreams of a second shifter Titan to use to his advantage.

Jean could see the way his commanding officer observed and manipulated, like someone playing a game. It has made him wary at first and since then he'd had his feelings validated as indeed things had been hidden from him and the others. He'd noticed Erwin giving him thoughtful looks on occasion and it put him on edge.

They'd crossed about half the distance, not quite close enough to make out any defining features on the new shifter, when he say Mikasa reach out for Eren. Then five heads turned in the direction of the small procession and a feeling of dread struck Jean. He swallowed, fingers itching, and started to look around for a threat.

The threat, it seemed, was in front of them. The new shifter took off at breakneck speeds (impossible speeds) right towards them. Erwin barked an order and blades were drawn; the two unlucky MP's that'd been snagged for the walk over held up guns.

Jean noted the rifles were shaking.

This was probably not their idea of a fun day.

The shifter darted past the first row, avoiding Erwin's attack (the only one that was even close) and then was behind Jean. Not just behind, no, but had a muscular arm pressing against his throat and a hand at his hip, pressing him back into a very solid male body. Hot breath brushed against his ear.

If this Titan thought taking a hostage would save him he really should have aimed for Armin.

"Jean." The voice was rough, his name dripping out in a way that made his stomach drop. He whipped his head around and felt his mouth drop open. He could feel his mind grinding to a halt, able to form no thoughts let alone reply.

Marco.

He could see his friend, part of his head and upper body missing even now as he stared into that face, totally whole and un...actually. His eyes drifted to a faint line, a scar perhaps, that flowed exactly along the seam of where he remembered there being nothing but core and empty space.

Marco.

Armin made an alarmed squeaky noise that might have formed the words 'wait' but it was distant, on the outskirts of Jean's awareness.

Lips quirked up, brown eyes brightened, and Marco was bending forward. Jean felt like his instincts, his trusted instincts, should have been screaming and crying and kicking his ass for just standing there but instead there was silence.

It was Marco after all. Marco had a way of getting to him.

Lips crushed against his own, graceless and harsh, more painful than anything else. He felt something warm flick over his lips then into his mouth, giving it a thorough once (and perhaps twice) over. Then a sharp nip on his bottom lip and his mouth was released as suddenly as it'd been possesed.

He could feel his mouth working but no sound came out. Marco smiled.

"You shitty brat." Captain Levi's voice, laced with acid, cut through Jean's fog. He jerked, but not too far considering the arm pressing against his throat and the hand on his hip and stared around, slack jawed, at the varying degrees of "What?" on the faces around him.

Levi strode right up to them, far within what Jean consider 'personal space' and glared up at Marco. "You did that just to kiss your idiot boyfriend?"

Marco's answer was for his smile to get wider, a familiar open smile that Jean knew well.

"Idiot." Levi's eyes flickered over to Jean for a moment.

"Kirstein is a member of the Survey Corps. I'm Commander Erwin Smith, his commanding officer." Commander Erwin said, managing to only look vaguely amused. "Will you assent to coming into our custody willingly. It would make things easier for him, especially after that display."

"Wait, what do you-" Jean started, suddenly aware of not just the people around him but those further out, watching from the edge of the clearing and perhaps from the nearby buildings. What were people thinking? Some man climbs out of a Titan and latches onto his mouth like...like.

Marco let him go abruptly. "Okay." He took a slow step to the side, hands raised near his head and open, palms facing outward, deliberately non-threatening. Erwin inclined his head towards the unlucky MP's who exchanged nervous glances then, hesitantly, stepped forward. Marco put his hands down with exaggerated slowness and held them in front of his body.

More hesitation then the male of the duo hastily slapped cuffs on Marco's wrists, closing them fast then scrambling back.

"Eren, you'll escort him. Follow me." Eren hurried to obey (of course), coming to stand beside Marco and putting a hand on his arm. Marco followed easily, paying no mind to the controlling hand on him.

"Him too." Levi said pointing at...oh.

Him. Pointing at him. The female MP came towards him, from the opposite side of the one Marco was on. Jean briefly entertained the idea of protesting but the dark look Levi was giving him made him think better of it.

"Be gentle with those." Marco had stopped for a second and was staring at the female MP over his shoulder. He was still smiling but it was a small sharp thing, slashing through his face and showing teeth. Then he was facing forward and walking again.

Jean looked down his nose at the woman who was now visibly shaking. It took a few tries before she had the cuffs on him, closing them so loosely he suspected he could have pulled his hands through. Not that he'd do that. He started walking, falling into step behind Levi with Armin on one side and Hange on the other. The woman was shooting furtive looks at him, looking on the verge of bursting. Armin just looked shellshocked.

Jean understood that emotion.

"What's it like?" Hange asked finally, words tumbling out excitedly. Jean blinked blankly.

"What like?"

She dropped her voice to a stage whisper, eyes darting to look at the back of Levi's head. "Being with a Shifter, compared to regular human. Warmer skin? Better endurance? Larger than average-"

"Hange!" Levi didn't turn but his tone was sharp enough to make Jean jump. Hange was less affected, simply sighing and, winking laviously, quicking her step to fall in next to her fellow squad leader.

Jean just gaped at her back then, a kind of desperation bubbling up in him, turned to look down at Armin, finding the blond had gone pink all the way to the tips of his ears.

"I...we. Marco and I-" At this Armin went from pink to bright red. "No! I mean. We never. Never. Never."

Armin's eyes slide to the side just enough for him to give Jean a look that, in spite of his flaming cheeks, said very plainly 'I don't believe you.'

Jean cursed.


	4. How To Save a Life

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Chapter 3

How to Save a Life

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_Between the lines of fear and blame_

_You begin to wonder why you came_

_Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend_

_Somewhere along in the bitterness_

_And I would have stayed up with you all night_

_Had I known how to save a life_

How to Save a Life~The Fray

Jean was in a cell. An honest to god prison cell, apparently the same place they'd held Eren before his trial, though there had been 'updates' including a cell that appeared to be made out of solid metal with only a small barred window to peer out of. Marco, of course, was there.

He'd never imagined a scenario in life where he'd end up in a prison cell, waiting to hear if he'd been accused of conspiring with a Shifter Titan who, by the way, everyone thought was his lover.

The report of what happened had spread fast, including that kiss Marco had forced on him, and in no time at all he had the people watching him, members of the Military Police, sneering and snickering constantly, calling him such delightly original names as 'Titan fucker' and 'Monster loving pervert.' It was hard to be anything more than just casually annoyed at such pitiful attempts to insult him. Even Yeager could do better.

Levi and Erwin had been to see them once before, simply to inform them that a trial was being held and that they may or may not be needed for it. It seemed Eren had left a lasting impression on the court and no one felt the need to have another shifter around to please his case in person.

Or that shifter's boyfriend.

Which Jean wasn't.

Not that anyone was listening.

This was the second time, on the third day of their lock up, that they came to see them, this time with Eren and Hange in tow. Everyone looked sullen and closed off aside from Hange, who was smiling widely and holding a large notebook and a few files.

It was official that they wouldn't be allowed to speak on their own behalves. Instead Commander Erwin, Hange, and the people who knew them best would speak for them and hopefully make a good case for why they should be let go.

Make a case for Jean anyway. He wasn't sure what could be said for Marco that would matter aside from 'Hey, he's a shifter and can help us fight.' Marco certainly didn't seem to care one way or another; while Jean had paced and worried and swore and punched walls Marco had simply sat somewhere in the back of his cell, carefull out of sight, never rising to taunts or seeming the least bit upset. He was disgusting calm, only speaking to Jean if he spoke to him first which was...rare.

He was angry, furious really. He'd been tossed in a cell for no reason at all. He had the military police fuckheads giving him shit. His first human contact outside of sparring in...too long had been forced on him in front of dozens of other people. his dead best friend was decidedly not dead, which should have been great but when it came with absolutely no explanation it was hard to feel the joy, and a fucking Titan Shifter at that.

And had kissed him.

Really kissed barely covered it. More like forcibly tongue fucked his mouth and left him confused, a little scared, and more weak kneed than he cared to admit.

No explanation for that had been forthcoming either.

The first night in the cell he'd had that oh so familiar nightmare. He stood, watching as a Titan reached down and picked up Maro. He was frozen in place unable to act even as Marco screamed his name, begged for his help, and pleased for him to move. He was rooted, couldn't even close his damn eyes as the wriggling form of his friend was brought to the Titan's lips.

The sound of flesh being bitten into, a wet crunch and tear, and Marco's cries ended abruptly, simply dropping off into nothingness. The Titan's jaw worked as Marco was pulled away from it's mouth, tendon and tissue stretching and snapping, leaving a wet red trail behind to stain the beasts lips.

He'd woken up screaming, throat sore and voice hoarse. There was an MP at his door, demaning he shut up or else. He'd nodded shakily and waved the man off only to find himself staring into two pinpricks of gold across the hall from him, seeming to shine out from the inky darkness of the prison.

Then they were gone; he could hear Marco's chains as the shifter moved further back into his cell. The hair on the back of his neck was standing up.

The second night he didn't dream at all, thankfully. He didn't want to wake up to Marco watching him like that again. It was...creepy.

"We have questions." Erwin was standing in the space between their cells. Jean was leaning against the bars, ready to hear what was being said, but Marco didn't seem willing to make an appearance. "The trial is in two hours and we need all the information we can get to try and defend the two of you."

"Two hours." Jean echoed. "So soon. We've only been down here three days."

"In light of the destruction the Female Titan and Eren caused as well as the knowledge that a third shifter has been found and was there, along with the fact it looks like Bott faked his death-" Levi listed, lips twisted just so, the only indicator of how he felt about the proceedings. "A lot of people are upset and calling for blood. That you and Bott had nothing to do with any of destruction of loss of life is secondary."

Hange scoffed. "It's ignorance. They don't see how useful it would be to have another Titan Shifter, uniquely different from Eren in our custody. Nevermind the speed Marco displayed outside of his Titan body."

He sighed, putting his forehead against the cool stone wall. "That doesn't sound very promising."

Erwin shot him a look. "I won't lie to you Kirstein. It probably won't go your way; the climate is not in your favor and I'm not on anyone's favorite people list at the moment. Still if we know more we can at least try to make a good case for you not being a traitor who helped fake his boyfriend's death and for Bott to be released into our custody."

Jean made a noise of ascent, though he figured most of the questions would be for Marco. He was just some unfortunate collateral damage in the end.

"Did you know Bott was a Titan Shifter?" Hange was suddenly in his face, staring at him with wide eyes. He rocked back, away from the bars and the enthusiastic woman. "Did you have any idea he was alive?"

"No, of course not." He swallowed, throat tightening as he thought once again of finding Marco's body discarded in the street. "No."

Hange looked down for a moment then held up a piece of paper, arm poking through the bars, expression deadly serious. "Why did your report for the cleanup indicate you took Bott's body to be burned. Was that true?"

"Oh." He stared at the paper blankly for a moment as if he'd never seen it before. Finally he let his eyes fall to the bottom and the looping text that was his signature. Then he let his gaze drift over the woman to focus on the door across the hallway and the small barred window that let him just make out that long lanky form on the cot in the far corner. "I lied."

"You lied in a report." Hange moved to the side, just enough for him to see Levi who was looking at him with eyes that promised pain. " were you thinking?"

"That he was dead so it didn't matter." Jean's words lacked any of his usual bite; instead his voice dropped to a strained whisper. "I gave his name and was told to take him to the wagon with the other bodies but I...ah. I couldn't. I couldn't."

It sounded weak and stupid to his own ears but how could he be expected to put into words the way he'd felt in that moment, hand's on Marco's body and the knowledge that soon his friend would be carelessly tossed into a fire and burned away weighing heavily on his already hazy mind. It would be like he'd never been there at all, just burned down to be part of large pile of ash with no idea who was who or understanding of why, of HOW, Marco could have ended up like that. It wasn't right or fair. It shouldn't have been Marco here, abandoned and lost, identified only by chance.

He pressed the heels of his hands into his burning eyes, face heating up at the moisture he felt there, pooled just in the corners.

"What did you do?" The question was sharp and Jean found himself breathless. What had he done? The worst possible thing possible, as it turned out, and the most unintentionally damming action he could have taken.

"He gave me to Annie." The was a bite to Marco's words, an accusation that Jean couldn't fight against. "I assume he didn't know she'd bitten part of my head off then stole my 3DMG."

He pressed harder against his eyes, remembering that day, that moment, that Annie had appeared in awful detail. She'd been all quiet pity and unusual sympathy; he'd thought stupidly but that'd dropped the ice queen wall because Marco was one of them, a member of their training squad and a good guy who went out of his way to befriend everyone. Perhaps it had even hurt her a little bit as well.

Normally he was quicker, questioned things more, couldn't be fooled by fake sympathy but...he hadn't exactly been himself.

"Fuck." Eren exhaled the world. "_Annie?_ That's going to look...it looks...Fuck."

Thankfully Marco was talking now, saving Jean from having to respond or acknowledge that yes, it sounded terrible.

"I was looking for people on the ground or for Titans to handle while you were plugging the wall. I saw Annie on the ground next to a Titan body, just sitting there. I thought she was hurt or maybe out of gas; lots of us were falling apart."

_Marco hit the ground lightly, cables withdrawing back into his gear. He hadn't seen any Titan's nearby but it was possible a small one was lurking nearby or would come lumbering near; they were strangely silent when it came to creeping around the city and taking them out of the air. That in mind they were going to have to be fast; he hoped that Annie was just out of air because that was easily remedied, as opposed to shock or any injury. _

_He'd helped Jean then set out on his own, finding it easier to search around without worrying about others. He would have prefered to stay with Jean, of course, but following the other around like a puppy or a nervous parent wouldn't have been appreciated._

_Besides, Jean was displaying some impressive leadership skills and he didn't want to undermine that by being underfoot (he had a tendency to nag and wasn't so proud that he wouldn't admit that...in his head). Best to be useful elsewhere. _

"_Marco." Annie was sitting on the ground, one leg bent and hands wrapped around her ankle while her chin rested on her knee. "I've been waiting for you." _

_He frowned, closing the distance between them quickly. What was she saying? Waiting for him? Had she hit her head maybe? _

"_Are you hurt?"_

_She picked her head up and tilted it to look into his eyes. "I know what you are."_

_He was unable to keep himself from jerking back just a little bit. He mentally scolded himself quickly, stupid to react that way. "Did you hit your head? Can you remember what happened?"_

_She unfolded herself completely and rose up to her feet, making Marco take a step back to give her room. She seemed steady on her feet so he stayed put, waiting. _

"_I know. I could sense it, I think, and I noticed little things about you. Sometimes you're a little too fast. Too strong. When you get injured you never let anyone get anywhere near you, not even Jean and you claim to go to medical but you never actually check in. You heal fast. Your body temperature is just a little bit elevated." She listed the things on her fingers, a strange smile curving her lips. _

_He'd never been as afraid of anything as he was in that moment. _

_She moved closer until they were nearly chest to chest and all he could do was stare at her, voice stolen. _

"_You aren't human." She said finally, voice smug. _

_His mind was racing; what did he say to that? She knew he was different and he wasn't sure that denying it was the best course of action. His parents claimed he was some kind of Titan, something he'd always thought kind of laughable even though some things about him were very strange. He acted accordingly even if he didn't believe, learning to keep himself hidden and to blend in by being friends with everyone, but close to no one (except Jean. Jean had gotten totally under his skin) But he'd never turned into a Titan (that he knew of) and until Eren he'd thought...he didn't know what he'd thought. But now he knew that it was possible, humans who were actually Titans existed beyond his parent's insistence. _

"_Annie...let me explain." Explain. Explain what? What the hell was he going to say? 'Okay, you caught me but I'm not a bad guy, just hiding my status as secretly being the enemy!' _

"_I'm the same." She reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, metal band around her finger gleaming in the sunlight. "I'm from outside the walls, you see, and I didn't expect to find...it's strange. How did you get here Marco?"_

_He said nothing, not sure how to answer. From outside the walls? How had he gotten here? Was he also from outside the walls? He couldn't say; he'd never been all that concerned with where his parents had gotten him (there were hundreds of orphans around after all) and they'd never volunteered the information. But they knew about him, knew about Titan Shifters, so it couldn't be a case of them just picking up a random orphan could it? _

_Damnit. Why had he never asked. His father was dead, had passed away two years ago, and his mother was...well they'd been gray and wrinkled even in his earliest memory. _

"_You should join us. You aren't really one of them, you know that, so why fight a losing war alongside them? Soon we'll be in the inner walls just waiting for the right moment. This will all come down around them and you should be ready and standing with us." _

_Slowly, painfully slow, her words sunk in. Annie had always been open about her plans to join the Military Police and live in the inner district. He'd never thought less of her for it, even though her reasoning was more in line with Jean's (safety, comfort, and not wanting to get eaten) than his. _

_She was going to infiltrate the inside. A titan, in a military uniform, right in the center of everything. Or more than one, how was he to know? She'd said us after all and, perhaps, they were all able to transform like Eren. They would bring down death and destruction on the unsuspecting public, no one would have time to prepare or fight back. The death toll would be enormous. _

_And then they'd be able to change back and just blend into whatever was left of the populace to lie in wait for the next time they stuck. _

_The military police would be hit hard._

_Jean would be there. _

_He shook his head reflexively. Annie's eyes narrowed, chips of blue ice in her pretty face. _

"_No? Well. Sorry to hear that." _

"And then she changed and ate me. More or less." Marco lapsed into silence. Jean was shaking, stomach in knots as his nightmare came to him, only this time it was the Female Titan in his mind's eye.

It made it worse somehow.

"Annie Leonhart confronted you and accused you of being a Titan Shifter, which you denied because you didn't know at the time that you were. But she did." Hange's voice was soft and musing. "I wonder if she was able to sense others while you and Eren can't. Oh you shifters are so unique, endless surprises for me."

"You're sure she said us?" Erwin's expression was troubled. "No names or indication of how many others there might be?"

"We suspected this." Levi muttered.

The commander nodded stiffly then turned his attention back to Marco's cell. "What happened next? We know that when Eren was swallowed by a Titan he shifted and was healed of all his injuries but you were found days later still…"

"Missing pieces." Hange supplied when Erwin hesitated. The blond man cast a bland look at her.

"Yes."

Jean remembered it, having seen it it a hundred times in his mind. Part of his head, including an eye, and torso were gone, leaving a bit of hanging tissue behind. Even with his nose covered the smell in Trost has been stomach turning. Bodies covered in titan fluid, mashed and ruined then forced together into hideous balls of limbs and screaming faces, bloating and baking under the sun; that was the kind of scent that stayed with you for weeks. It had been thick and oppressive, as if it had physical presence.

And yet, with all that, Marco had been the worst of that. If he hadn't vomited long before turning down that road he would have there.

"I thought I was dead." Marco said after a pause.

_Death, as it turned out, was boring. Really really boring. He sat, trapped in his mangled body and watched time pass. No one came by for a while then finally some uninformed people started milling about, sparing him glances but little else._

_He could hear as well but there wasn't much to hear since no one was talking to him. He had the one eye as the other had been nibbled by Annie (he laughed in his head at that, even though it was very much not funny) It had been exceptionally painful actually; he could feel the phantom pain of Annie's blunt teeth digging into his flesh and the way he'd seen blood squirting onto those teeth as she bit down. The pain had been blinding and then everything had gone blessedly dark. _

_He'd assumed that was death but then...this._

_His body was useless now; it wouldn't move and he couldn't feel anything no matter how hard he concentrated but that was probably to be expected since he was dead and all. Dead people didn't go walking around or anything so the paralysis seemed normal in that context. _

_Yes, that made sense. As much as anything made sense. He wondered if death was like this for everyone, just sitting purposelessly in your body doing nothing and watching the world pass by._

_How would that work for people without heads or who were burned to ash?_

_Maybe this was a post death lesson before moving on to an afterlife. He'd heard stories about that kind of thing from his mother, who was very into the idea of there being something that happened after a person died beyond just being dead. _

_The passing through of his mother caused a pang; his body was dead and unfeeling but his emotions seemed to be intact. The idea of his mother, that sweet funny little woman with her ready smile and laughing green eyes, finding out she'd lost her son just a few years after losing her husband hurt. Mrs. Bott had sounded so proud of him in her last letter and so pleased that he'd been 'safe in the interior' even though safety wasn't his goal and now this. She'd be alone now, mourning a son with no one to comfort her. _

_He wished he could have done something for her, had been more prepared, but it was too late for that now. He only had regret. _

_Jean was the one who stopped and really looked at him and wasn't that just typical? Even though his friend's face was covered from the nose down Marco could see Jean actually falling apart before him. There was a moment of shock, of pain, of grief, and then nothing. His eyes were hazy and unfocused as he spoke to someone, giving them Marco's information and nodding when he was told where to take Marco for disposal. _

_Everyone else moved on and Jean stayed, staring at him with that blank expression. Marco knew that look, the glassy eyes of a person who seen something they just couldn't deal with. _

'_Oh Jean.' _

"_Jean." She fell from above, landing almost directly next to Jean. Her eyes darted over to him and he saw a flash of something there: Regret? Sadness? Victory? Who knew. Annie had always been just outside of his ability to read. "Is that...what happened?" _

"_They said to take his body to be burned." Which honestly sounded rather unpleasant. Not that he was afraid he'd feel it, he just didn't like the idea of watching bodies (namely his own) burn. Also what would happen to him after that? "But I...it's not right. Not Marco." _

_Annie nodded slowly, putting a hand on Jean's shoulder. Somehow that gesture was more enraging than the fact she'd kill him and wasn't that fucked up? He'd always been a little 'off' when it came to Jean though. He'd been hoping that one day-_

_Well. Didn't matter._

"_What do you want to do?" She spoke slowly and clearly, maintaining eye contact with Jean, clearly aware that the other teen was not dealing well. _

"_Do?" _

"_With Marco. You don't want to send him to be burned but we can't leave him here. What do you want to do." Her other hand handed on Jean's other shoulder, giving him a little shake._

_Marco wanted to rip her hands off. _

_He was pretty sure he was allowed that violent impulse since she'd killed him and was now comforting his...his. Comforting Jean as if she weren't the guilty party. _

_Jean started to turn his head to look back at Marco but Annie moved with him, keeping herself in his line of sight. _

"_I can bury him?" She offered, voice pitched low. Jean seemed to respond to the change, fog in his eyes receding just slightly. "I know a spot. I can show you."_

'_Don't go with her Jean!' Marco screamed in his head, sickened that he had to watch this and couldn't interfere. _

_Jean shook his head. "Don't show me." _

_Annie nodded then carefully moved Jean away. "That's probably for the best." _

_Jean left shortly after that, on foot, and Annie circled back around to him, an exasperated expression on her face. "Looks like the first stage of the withering. If he knew where I was burying you he'd probably go and sit there until he starved or something."_

_His field of vision changed as he was jostled around and then hauled up, probably over Annie's shoulder. "Omegas are such odd creatures. I knew a woman who lost her alpha then just wandered away barefoot in the middle of winter, never to be seen again. That's just what they do. It's in their nature to just curl up and die like that. It's almost as absurd as talking to a dead body." _

_He was shifted again then the sound of wood breaking met his ears. A terse silence then he found himself being carried inside a building and dropped onto the floor. He imagined in different circumstances it would have hurt. _

"_I didn't expect to find any here, let alone two, and Kirstein of all people. I suppose that's how you managed to stand him. They have a way of burrowing right in like a tick. Explains why I'm actually burying you instead of burning your body." He was face down on the floor so he couldn't see her but he could hear her footsteps moving around. Something was thrown over him, blotting out the light. _

"_That should be fine until nightfall." _

_She muttered something he didn't catch then her steps faded and he heard what sounded like a door shut._

_Marco couldn't help but note that she'd said more words to his dead body than she'd ever said to him before. _

Notes: There was...a bit more but I had to cut it somewhere.

You might be wondering how Marco is alive and having thoughts with half a brain. To which I say thbbbpt.

Also yes the story Marco is telling and the story you're 'seeing' differ, in that he's telling the other's the Titan thing was a total surprise and we of course know that's not true. He's had a lot of time to carefully think this all over.

Too bad Annie is indisposed. She's got all that Titan Shifter/Alpha/Omega knowledge and had Jean pegged. Guess Marco and Jean will just have to figure it out all on their own.


	5. Postcard

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Chapter Four

Postcard

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_Lost the love without the dream light it is killing me_

_I can't be next to you and not think about what you're thinking_

_So I just hang on your words and read between the lines_

_Cause you send me a postcard_

_You send a postcard_

Postcard- Jukebox the Ghost

"Do you know where she took you?" Erwin's hands were clasped behind his back, expression every bit as troubled as before. Hange however was crouched on the floor, using her knees to steady her notebook as she wrote, soft laughter bursting forth occasionally.

It made Jean really nervous.

"I'm not sure. Things are...confused after a certain point; I think I came out of the grave shifted. I'm not sure how long it took to regenerate or much or what happened once I did. I just knew I had to get inside Wall Sina and stop Annie. There was a lot of walking."

Something in Marco's voice, maybe the way he hesitated or how carefully he seemed to be choosing his words, niggled at Jean's mind. Perhaps it was just such a large difference from the easy and open way he was used to Marco speaking but he was almost tempted to say the other teen was lying.

"How did you end up on top of the wall just as Annie was scaling it?" Hange asked, not bothering to look up from her writing.

"I liberated a Garrison uniform and 3D gear when I was passing through Karanese then came in the city the normal way. I'd been in here a few days, keeping my head down while I tried to figure out how to get to her. I saw there was a Titan inside the walls, same as everyone else, and I knew it was Annie. I saw she was headed for the wall so...I got there first."

"Hmm. So not random chance."

Marco laughed; it was as friendly and kind a noise as ever. "That would had been pretty lucky."

"I suppose I was hoping for something less mundane than you being in the area." Hange laughed as well then stood up, stretching a little as she did. "That's it for my questions. You've been very helpful to me Marco and I hope they decide not to kill you so we can work together."

Jean was genuinely unsure if that was the sort of thing Marco should look forward to or if a quick execution would be more merciful. But then Yeager was her current favorite experiment and he seemed to like her inspite of that.

The woman gathered up all her things quickly and, with a wave at Jean and a nod at Erwin, turned on her heel and hurried away, exiting through the door at the end of the prison hall. Jean craned his neck slightly and could see the silhouette of two guards standing right outside. He'd been wondering where their constant detail had gotten off too.

Levi followed his gaze then sneered slightly. "We requested they stand outside but I'm sure they were listening anyway, ready to report back before the trial.."

"Let them." Erwin said, tone dismissive. "Bott. I'm prepared to make the argument for Jean to be released and you to be given over to the Survey Corps but I need to be sure you're on our side. If there are more shifters out there you could be an asset in fighting them and in Hange's research but you need to convince me you aren't an enemy of mankind and worth taking responsibility for. Are you prepared to give us your loyalty?"

Jean found himself holding his breath, worried yet unsure why. Of course Marco wasn't an enemy of man; in fact Marco was almost on Eren's level when it came to his optimism and belief that protecting humans and fighting the Titans would actually matter in the long run.

Jean, personally, was torn between hope and the belief that they were fighting a losing battle and so had always been more concerned with himself and being somewhere far away from danger. Until he hadn't been concerned with those things at all anymore.

Maybe that's where the cold sick feeling in his stomach came from. If he had changed was it possible Marco had too? Was it possible learning he wasn't human had changed him and...but he'd attacked Annie, hadn't he? And considering the way he'd greeted Jean it didn't seem like he was harboring any new strange hate for humans.

"I will if Jean wants me to." Marco's tone was as mild as if he were discussing the weather.

Jean had a few thoughts in that moment. How could Marco mess up such a simple question? Maybe he was as suicidal as they'd always said Eren was and was hoping to be executed after all? What did he mean if Jean wanted him to?

"Oh?" There was laughter in Erwin's voice but when Jean looked at him his expression was carefully neutral.

"Yes." Jean could hear the clinking and metallic scratching of chains moving then Marco's face filled up the small window of his cell door. He smiled, nodding a greeting. "I came back to find Annie but now she's out of reach and Jean isn't. He's all I have left."

"What the fuck Marco!" He wasn't sure what was bothering him more, the casual way Marco was talking about killing someone or...the other part.

A shiver ran down his spine was, unbidden, the memory of Marco's lips crushing against his own came back to him. The other part was more bothersome, without a doubt.

Jean heard the clinking and metallic scratching of chains moving across the ground then Marco's face appeared in the barred window of his cell door. He smiled, all friendliness and congeniality but Jean wasn't buying it; not when he could still remember the blazing heat of Marco pressed up against his body.

Not that he thought about it or anything.

Honey brown eyes started at Jean intently, studying him with an intensity that made Jean want to turn away. He didn't of course; he could manage to go out and fight man eating Titans so he wasn't going to back down now.

"Jean." Marco's lips quirked up just a bit.

His voice was dark and thick, Jean's name seemed to almost drip forth and hang in the air. He felt his face heating up but who could blame him; Talking like that made even his name sound like something filthy. Jean's eyes darted to the side, blessedly breaking contact, to find the other's had picked up on...whatever that was as well and had all schooled their faces into those carefully blank expressions. He didn't even want to know what they were thinking.

"Don't say my name like that!" It was a silly thing to say and he knew that but what else could he say, really? They'd barely exchanged words at all and here was Marco, looking at him like Sasha looked at potatoes and it was just…well he didn't like it.

He didn't want to like it, at least.

He didn't want to be looked at like food. It brought to mind Titans and he really was having enough trouble reconciling that Marco Bott, calm encouraging stupidly optimistic Marco Bott, was a Titan Shifter, without those hungry looks.

"What kind of things would you like me to say like that? I'm open to suggestions." Marco's smile was like the one he'd worn when telling the MP to be gentle with him, a small toothy slash.

Jean felt another shiver run up his spine. "I don't care what you do."

Erwin laid a disapproving look in his direction. Jean frowned back; he could guess that the Commander wanted Marco working with them buy what was he expected to say exactly?

"I don't believe that. You want me to set everyone straight, don't you? To tell them they've all got the wrong idea and that we never go up to anything back in training."

Okay, maybe Jean did care what Marco did because yes, he would have appreciated all of that. He wasn't looking forward to the looks and the whispers and whatever else could result from all of this. And worst what was he going to do when his family found out he was on trial for helping a Titan Shifter he was allegedly involved with fake their death? His mother hadn't gotten over the shock of him joining the Survey Corps yet, this would be too much.

"No one would believe me and it's not as if it makes much difference what might have happened before as long as it's true in the future."

Jean blinked. Blinked again. Closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. He was fairly certain he'd heard Marco correctly and, in light of everything he supposed he didn't have much reason to doubt what he'd heard and yet-

"What?" Marco's expression said 'this should be obvious already and I'm disappointed that it's not.' and Jean felt a white hot flash of anger. "You show up and stick your fucking tongue in my mouth then ignore me for two days and now you're looking at me like I'm an idiot? Nothing you've done makes sense!"

Once upon a time he would have punched Marco for wearing that expression and even now if not separated by bars and a hallway he might have done it anyway. He hated when people looked at him like that more than anything and Marco knew that.

"You're the only thing that matters so I will do whatever it is you want me to do as long as it's with you."

Commander Erwin shifted his gaze to Jean, eyebrow going up. "Well?"

Well? Was he supposed to actually take that seriously?

Jean couldn't manage a response beyond a choked noise. He wanted to-no he needed to sit down but his legs might as well have not been there for all they were listening to him. It was just too much for one day-too much for one lifetime really, and he could feel himself falling apart as it all tried to come crashing down on him at once. He felt exposed, cracked open for all to see and it wasn't a feeling he relished.

He'd felt guilt, fear, confusion, anger and this strange feeling trying to make itself known in response to Marco's words (it's was a disturbing warm feeling and Jean wanted nothing to do with it) so close together and he couldn't hold it all up and he felt like he was sinking, floating away. Dots began to swim in front of his eyes.

What did that even mean? The only thing that mattered? What about Marco's family? Other friends? The general desire to not be overrun and eaten? None of that meant anything at all, just Jean? Who even said things like out loud outside of cheesy lines recruits used to get other recruits in bed?

Was Marco trying to get him in bed?

The answer to that seemed obvious and he couldn't stop an oddly high pitched laugh from escaping.

"Kirstein!" Commander Erwin's voice was sharp and Jean looked up to find the man crouched in front of him (How had he ended up sitting on the floor?) "Breathe."

He inhaled and air flooded his burning lungs. His vision started to clear right away but the desperate feeling in his brain as he tried to find something that actually made sense to anchor to did not. He looked down at his hands, saw they were shaking, and looked back up at the older man.

"You need time to process, to think, but you don't have that time. Having people willing to fight for you or your cause isn't something to agree to lightly." Erwin's face was deadly serious and his words fell like stones. "I have to leave here and argue that you aren't a traitor who helped a shifter fake his death and that Marco deserves to live and could be an asset to us, but he's saying he'll only agree if he can be with you which is a laughably small request considering."

Jean wanted to snap back; it was easy to call something a small request when it didn't concern you but he had a feeling that it would be hollow against someone who took on leading men to their probable deaths day in and day out.

"I believe there are more shifters out there, intelligent thinking people with the ability to change and kill without warning and then vanish. Beyond that I can assume you didn't notice considering the...events of that day but when Annie took out a chunk of the wall? There was a face inside. A titan, inside the wall. We've got it covered up now but the Titans outside the wall are the least of what faces us now. We can't afford to lose potential allies or decent soldiers at this stage."

Jean buried his face into his hands and shook his head. He didn't want to hear this, didn't want the pressure that was being laid on him, didn't want to understand what he was being told. He couldn't be the person who made choices like this, it'd never been what he wanted. Hadn't he always wanted to just be part of the military police and to fall in as part of the crowd and follow easy orders?

Now it was Titans outside, Titans inside, Titans in the fucking wall, and a potential asset, another card in their deck, but only if Jean said so. Jean, who wasn't qualified to make judgement calls or decide how someone's life should go or even allowed to argue that he actually hadn't been fucking a Titan Shifter or helped anyone fake their death and really was just prone to incredibly stupid actions when stressed out

Like now. He was sweating yet he felt like he made of ice, frozen to the core and teetering between wanting to throw himself on his cot and just stop talking about this and-

Wait.

"Titans in the wall?" He picked his head up, squinting.

"One titan. That we know of." Eren offered as if somehow that was less horrifying. Which it wasn't. "Armin thinks there may be more but that's unlikely they'll be getting up and taking walks anytime soon. Probably."

"Is...is that a joke? Because it's not funny." Eren's expression said very clearly that it was in fact not a joke. "Fuck. Fuck."

He was silent for a moment, allowing that to turn around in his head and as he focused on it he felt blankness creeping over him. When he'd thought Marco was dead there had been shock and grief and a feeling like everything was just too much and he was going to explode from the force of it all and then...he'd started sleepwalking through things.

He'd gotten 'better' with time; the fear he'd felt when the Female Titan had been staring down at them hadn't been totally false and he had even been able to work up some serious rage towards Annie.

He could feel the same kind of eerie calm settling over him now, wrapping around him almost comfortingly. It was tempting, very tempting, to just retreat but he couldn't help but be acutely aware that last time he'd done that he had handed over Marco's body to Annie in his less than totally there state.

The guilt from that stung. He supposed in the end it had worked out; being burned to ash probably wouldn't have worked out well for Marco in the long run, but that did little to alleviate the guilt. And now here he was again with someone looking at him and basically asking 'What do you want to do?'

He wanted to get the hell out of this cell and, ideally, he'd prefer Marco to not die. It would be pretty disheartening to get to this point just for Marco to be executed.

"Okay." His voice was quiet and he sounded tired even to his own ears. "Tell the court Marco will work with us. And that I've never helped fake anyone's death, I just make poor choices. I joined the survey corps so that should be pretty believable."

He couldn't keep the smarmy bite out of his voice. He knew this was the best choice, knew it was the only thing that even began to have a totally favorable outcome for just about everyone.

"That is hard to argue with." Commander Erwin's serious expression faded back into the almost amused expression he'd been wearing before. Then the blond sighed and straightened, glancing over his shoulder at Levi who nodded in response to some silent question. "We're out of time."

00000


End file.
